Saturday, December 04, 2004


Elevator Puddles

Saturday night R and I left the apartment to go to R's birthday celebration at her friend's house. With each of us carrying a cake for the party, we approached the elevators and could hear a very loud argument that sounded like it was coming from the shaft on the right. Yelling, cursing, and general discontent could be heard as we kept our fingers crossed for the elevator on the left to arrive first. Ironically, this was the elevator we were going to wish we had missed. The doors on the left opened first and we stepped quickly into a large puddle covering the entire floor of the elevator (which is thankfully rubberized).
"There's a lot of water on the floor in here," R commented.
"Well, it is raining," I said.
"Still, it's a lot of water," R exclaimed as the doors opened in the lobby.
We were met with a very strange scene: One of the many different security guards that work different nights in the building was yelling at two men. One of the men was wearing only a t-shirt, boxer shorts and socks and the other had a broken nose that was bandaged and two black eyes that were swelled shut.
"You see," said the security guard to the man in boxers pointing at R and I as we stepped off the elevator, "people are walking in your urine!"
Disgusted, R and I decided to stay to see how this would all pan out. We had seen these two men several times before and, like this time as well, we had never seen either one of them sober. On one occasion, shortly after the first Bush-Kerry debate, we had had the pleasure of riding in the elevator with the boxer-shorted man (hereafter referred to as "el Urinador") and learned that he "liked bush". If only I had taken the chance to explain that it's not about whether or not you like the guy, he might not have peed in that elevator.
I digress. El Urinador was looking particularly unsober this evening as the security guard explained to him, "you either go get a mop and clean it up or I'll mop it up with your head."
This seemed a bit silly, though I wouldn't have put it past this particular guard as he's a lot bigger than any of the other guards I've met....


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