With so many things to worry about here at the Center of the Empire, halfway through the first decade of the 21st Century, knowing which of them to take arms against is most difficult.
You have probably, like us, wondered what steps are appropriate to ward off mind-control via electromagnetic radiation. Should I use that steel colander? Or will Reynolds Wrap (extra-thick) work just as well?
An MIT research team has concluded:
It requires no stretch of the imagination to conclude that the current helmet craze is likely to have been propagated by the Government, possibly with the involvement of the FCC. We hope this report will encourage the paranoid community to develop improved helmet designs to avoid falling prey to these shortcomings.
Their research shows that common aluminum foil helmet configurations actually amplify the potentially mind-controlling radiation (as the Government undoubtedly intends).
The report is HERE. Don't complain that you haven't been warned.
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