Friday, January 07, 2005
New Years Predictions
I am not much of a gambler. I prefer to bet only when the odds are in my favor. So I will apply those principles towards my first annual “Redneck Predictions for the New Year”.
I predict there will be an indiscriminate attack on innocent people, performed by adherents to Islam, in the name of Allah.
I predict more people on this planet will convert to Islam than any other religion.
I predict Islam will continue to be the fastest growing religion in America and Europe.
I predict Islamic Militants will severely disrupt Saudi Arabia’s oil export/refining capabilities.
I predict Islamic Militants will NOT severely disrupt Iran’s oil export/refining capabilities.
I predict Islamic Militants will attempt to assassinate a Western political leader.
I predict Islamic Militants will assassinate a Saudi Royal family member.
I predict Islamic Militant will not attempt to assassinate a Chinese political leader.
I predict at least 20% of Iraq’s elected governing body will be assassinated or convinced to resign for their/their family’s safety.
I predict that the constitution they will write will reflect Iran’s constitution more than ours.
I predict than George Bush will not have the political courage to stop Iran’s nuclear program....this year.
I predict than George Bush will not have the political courage to stop North Korea's nuclear program....this year.
I predict the Iranian people will not have the courage to oust the Theocrats.
I predict there will be increased bloodshed on both sides of Israel’s Wall.
I predict that the United States will veto an anti-Israel resolution at the UN.
I predict that China will veto an anti-Iranian resolution at the UN.
I predict the recently signed peace agreement in Sudan will be broken.
I predict I will verbally assault the first minimum wage tele-marketer that calls me on my cell phone.
I predict the music industry does not stop “free music”.
I predict that millions of people will abandon their blog.
I predict that Japan will dramatically increase their military expenditures in reaction to Chinese and North Korean threats.
I predict China will set a date for Taiwan re-unification.
I predict the US will find an excuse not to defend Taiwan.
I predict that I will continue to harbor illusions that Western society will some day conjure up the courage to stop Islamic cultural warriors before they acquire the means to inflict massive harm on us. I will continue to deny the fact that we are on an unstoppable path of human cultural evolution towards a global socialistic society. I will continue to think that our country will, at some point in the future abandon the ideological divisiveness that has made us ripe targets for our cultural enemies, and join together to defeat our internal and external enemies before it is too late. I will keep swimming against the progressive tide of a country and world that collectively sees me as their enemy, and a cultural dinosaur. I will continue over-estimating the ability of our conventional and nuclear arsenal to protect our way of life. And I will continue to dream false dreams of handing a less deadly world over to my children.