Fat Eye for the Skinny Guy

Give Me Back My Cigarette Break!

So I've been smoking cigarettes for about 10 years now. I started back in high school as a tactic to try and pick up chicks. But, like all of my other tactics, it failed. Miserably. And all I got out of it was this stupid nicotine addiction and a free air mattress. Go Marlboro miles!
After graduating college I started working and watched life's suck-o-meter skyrocket. It wasn't long after that when a fellow co-worker introduced me to the cigarette break.
"You mean, you get a free ten minute break five times a day just to smoke a cigarette?" I asked with wonder.
"You sure do!"
"But what about the people who don't smoke cigarettes oh wise one? What happens to them?"
"They get to stay up there and work in your place because they're boring assholes oh little apprentice of mine."
"Neat!"
Day after day I would long for those 10 minute breaks. That very special alone time us aggravated, agitated, stressed-out nicotine freaks oh so adore. And for awhile, it was bliss.
Until yesterday.

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