Sunday, April 29, 2007
This is the end, Elmo my friend
If there are any children in the room quickly bring the wee fuckers over and show them the picture, see what happens when Sesame Street tries to promote healthy food? it kills you. For years Cookie Monster was content with his moment on the lips and a lifetime on his hips, he was happy. Now they take away the cookie and say "here Cookie Monster have a nice healthy piece of broccoli" cruel and unusual treatment for a long time employee, now the Cookie Monster has an identity crisis and is on anti- depressants, the poor bastard.
Elmo was always the yes man, that's how he became the star. If life was fair the 7 foot retarded 50 year old yellow bird should be the star, he was there from the beginning. I guess Hollywood wasn't ready to break the bird mong barrier, I like my mongs like Forest Gump, you know a heart of gold that won't lick yer face and that you can still take the piss out of, I call them 'mong lite'.
I've always wanted to find a dead body, preferably an attractive woman but so far that hasn't happened.
While out yesterday with my grandson Gavin we saw the lifeless body of Elmo on some waste ground, we think his heart gave out, must of been all that healthy eating. I heard the guy that invented the power bar, a real fitness freak dropped dead of a heart attack while standing in a bank queue.
Let this be a warning to anyone that jogs or eats things like salad and drinks water, do you know what fish do in water? well at least the children are safe from 'Tickle me Elmo' which sounds like a Pedo chat up line.
Visit Old Bitter Balls
NOTE: Not workplace safe.