Friday, December 10, 2004

Veiled Conceit

A glimpse into that haven of superficial, pretentious, pseudo-aristocratic vanity: The NY Times' Wedding & Celebration Announcements

Cuckhold of his Domain

Nederlander is going to give it another shot...

So remember how, a few years ago, you read that Seinfeld met some recently-married trollop at the Reebok Sports Club and started frenching her in public? Remember how you learned that her husband was none-too-pleased about having his girlfriend stolen like a Schnitzer's marble rye? I believe your exact words were "Sucks to be that guy." But then do you remember how it went on to say that the husband's family was richer than all hell, and that even after his being made a very public cuckold you thought "Still ain't too bad to have his life, better that the gold-digging prostitute be gone."

The digger in this story was (is) the contemptible Jessica Sklar. If you're unfamiliar with her, here's how her story breaks down:

1. Marry rich guy (Nederlander).
2. Use Reebok Club membership he bought you to meet guys at gym.
3. See Jerry Seinfeld and realize he's waaaay richer than your current beau.
4. "Seal the deal" with Seinfeld and hitch your wagon to his gravy train.
5. "Nederlander who?"

….And what's the deal with fidelity, anyway?

But I don't want to give this gutter-bred remora more time than she's worth. Like Nederlander, we must move on and put this episode ("The Vile Slatern," Season 8) in the past. We are, after all, still fabulously wealthy.

Who's the new prize on the Nederlander mantel? She's a doctor, or clinical psychologist at least, so that makes it unlikely that she's a trust fund chaser. And what's her opinion of Jiltfest '99: The Mistress of His Domain?….

Dr. Kupferman teased as she squeezed Mr. Nederlander's hand. "Emotional baggage is my business."

Whoa, doctor! A joke about his emotional baggage just seconds after he described the experience as "extremely difficult...extremely difficult." I trust that she would only say this if she really liked him. Gold-diggers know to hold their tongues in public. Maybe this wife won't be stolen like a Ziggy cartoon….

Oh, there's much, much more here.

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